News Headlines
GCSE Exams Now Easier Than Writing Headlines
Record GCSE results have prompted fresh concerns over the dumbing-down of school exams, with some papers now reportedly easier than writing pun-laden tabloid headlines and generic news stories recycled from previous years.
Today the GCSE pass-rate rose for the billionth consecutive year to 112 percent, with more A grades being served up than school dinners.
As hooded youths continue to terrorise good, honest, law-abiding citizens, acting as a perpetual plague on society, our only conclusion can be that the little 16-year-old thugs are being given an easy ride by education chiefs sucking up to the government.
The possibility that the younger generation may actually be better educated, or even more intelligent, has been firmly ruled-out by all of the British media - who continue to be exponents of the highest literary standard.
"Man, these exams must be a piece of piss," said one Daily Mail reporter as he copy and pasted 2007's GCSE exam story into an open text box. "Who stole my pencil case?" he added.
A sub-editor for the Sun said: "When was the last time we used GCS-Easy? Isn't it lunchtime yet?"
Pupils who passed GCSE English today can apply for The Taxman's vacant chief reporter role within.
