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Rich Nations Agree On Climate Disagreement

12th July 2008

The G8 Summit in Japan this week has ended with a landmark disagreement on climate change, as the leaders of the world's richest nations all agreed to settle their differences at next years' meeting.

The so-called "disagreement agreement" came at the end of five days' worth of hard discussions, rounds of golf, back-slapping, cigar-smoking, suit-wearing, podium-posturing and capitalist profiteering.

On Wednesday, the elected leaders of such diverse countries as the United States of America, the United Kingdom, France, Germany and Italy; all emerged from under rocks to announce that this years' disagreement on how to tackle spiralling greenhouse gas emissions was "the most significant yet".

The summit's chair for this year, Japanese Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda, concluded the annual gathering of the world's richest nations by announcing that they had failed to agree on whether or not to bother saving the world's poorest nations.

"We all agreed to disagree," he said as George Bush attended the barbeque. "America said it wouldn't cut its emissions before India and China cut theirs; Russia said it would think about cutting its emissions; and Britain said it was really important to cut emissions, so long as it didn't cost any money - it was an inspiring moment."

Mr Fukuda continued: "Hey, I thought we agreed to have chicken wings as well as beef burgers?"

Meanwhile, the leaders of Bangladesh, Ethiopia, the Philippines and Honduras - whose countries are still suffering the adverse effects from last years' disagreement agreement, as well as those of 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002 and 2001 - said yesterday that had they been invited to the meeting, hell would have probably frozen over.



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© 2008 Thomas Cardwell

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