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Immigration Key Driver Of Emigration
The new number one reason for Britons moving abroad is people moving to Britain, according to the latest findings.
Immigration was named top of a list of reasons for British emigration; above tax-dodging, wealth, and the previous top reason, delusion.
The UK Statistics Authority announced the findings today just as the level of emigration reaches yet another record high for 2007-08.
"All day everyday, Britons whine on and on about immigration," said a UKSA spokesman. "Then they go home and dream of moving to Spain.
"To be honest, it makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a blunt spoon."
A popular country for Britons to bugger off to is France. French National Front leader, Jean-Marie Le Pen, told us, here at The Taxman, that immigration was a key concern for the people of his country as well. "Je deteste ces batards Anglais venant ici et habiter de notre etat," he said.
In a very busy day at the office, we also managed to contact Australian aboriginal leader, Mandawuy Antikirinya, to ask him whether he thought immigration really was a big problem in Britain.
"What? You ring me up on a reverse charge call, to ask me, an aboriginal, if I think you've got an immigration problem? I tell you what, you colonial fuck-wit, if you did have - and trust me, you don't - it would only serve you fucking right for oppressing half the world over 200 fucking years, you cheeky fucking bastard."