News Headlines
Immigration Key Driver Of Emigration
The new number one reason for Britons moving abroad is people moving to Britain, according to the latest findings.
Immigration was named top of a list of reasons for British emigration; above tax-dodging, wealth, and the previous top reason, delusion.
The UK Statistics Authority announced the findings today just as the level of emigration reaches yet another record high for 2007-08.
"All day everyday, Britons whine on and on about immigration," said a UKSA spokesman. "Then they go home and dream of moving to Spain.
"To be honest, it makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a blunt spoon."
A popular country for Britons to bugger off to is France. French National Front leader, Jean-Marie Le Pen, told us, here at The Taxman, that immigration was a key concern for the people of his country as well. "Je deteste ces batards Anglais venant ici et habiter de notre etat," he said.
In a very busy day at the office, we also managed to contact Australian aboriginal leader, Mandawuy Antikirinya, to ask him whether he thought immigration really was a big problem in Britain.
"What? You ring me up on a reverse charge call, to ask me, an aboriginal, if I think you've got an immigration problem? I tell you what, you colonial fuck-wit, if you did have - and trust me, you don't - it would only serve you fucking right for oppressing half the world over 200 fucking years, you cheeky fucking bastard."
