News Headlines
Mindless Thugs Rebuild Community Centre
A bunch of drunken yobs completely rebuilt a Hertfordshire community centre last night, in an act of mindless violence.
Between the hours of 1 and 2am, about a dozen mindless thugs descended on to the ruined remains of the Hitchin Community Centre and set about rebuilding it from scratch, using the existing foundations to construct a post-modernist structure of fine architectural heritage.
The centre, which was destroyed by the district council so they could sell the land to developers, has now been fully reopened to the public. It still features the same function rooms and facilities as before, but with the addition of painted ceilings, underfloor heating, a 24 square foot rear balcony and rooftop solar panels.
Local resident Joyce Higginbotham witnessed the shocking events. "It all happened so fast. One minute the community centre wasn't there, the next minute it was," she said. "Mindless thugs, the lot of 'em."
A police spokesman said there were about eight hooded yobs, three dodgy characters and at least one who should have known better. However, he said, all could be described as equally "mindless" and "thug-like in character".
The shocking incident follows a spate of violent regeneration schemes in the area in recent weeks, including a series of sustainable housing projects and award-winning civic developments.
If you know a mindless thug who you think is liable to regenerate your area in the near future, the police would like to hear from you.
