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Diana Died Ten Years Ago
A Duke of Edinburgh -piloted apache helicopter forced Diana's Mercedes to crash in a Paris tunnel last decade, according to The Taxman's latest source.
Short of ideas to commemorate the landmark anniversary of the death of the Princess of Wales, we, here at The Taxman, dug up her corpse.
Speaking for the first time since her tragic passing, the People's Princess was adamant.
"It was Phillip, his helicopter cut us up at the lights," said Diana from beyond the grave.
"Can I return to my coffin now please?"
Still reeling from the shock new revelations, we sent our work experience boy out on to the streets to gauge the mood of a nation still very much in mourning.
"I'll always remember where I was when I heard that Diana died ten years ago," said a man. "Somewhere between junctions 10 and 11 of the M4. Or was it junctions 11 and 12?"
A woman said: "I can't believe Diana died ten years ago. Back then I'd only had 25,917 hot dinners."
Having returned the corpse of Princess Diana to her grave, we, here at The Taxman, decided to use her coffin as a filing cabinet.
Ten years on, and we're still no closer to letting her rest in peace. So long as she continues to sell newspapers, we never will.
