News Headlines
Heavy Rain Blamed for Summer Floods
A chief scientist of a key climate panel has blamed this summer's floods on 'some real heavy rain'.
The revelation came amid growing concerns that global warming may make such weather events more frequent, a notion which Vincent Game denies.
Speaking in his part-time role as International Diocese of Intelligence On Terrible Science (Idiots) rain consultant, Mr Game, who has an O-level in religous studies, said: "Global warming is not to blame, rain is."
He continued: "My many years' experience of watching rainfall puts me in the best position to categorically remove global warming from the list of possible reasons why this severe flooding has occurred.
"Indeed, Idiots' research found that 99 percent of floods happen because of high precipitation."
Crusty Conservative MP, David Wilshire, welcomed the news. "It is great to see some intelligent thinking on the matter," he said.
"What these floods prove is that global warming has started to reverse."
The Spelthorne MP, where 80 percent of constituents are employed by Heathrow Airport, added: "The planet is cooling and polar bears are taking over Norway."
Idiots, who receive funding from EasyJet, Ryan Air, Virgin Atlantic, Rolls-Royce, British Airways, Thomsonfly and Airbus; was set up more than three weeks ago and is the top reference on climate science for the UK Independence Party.
Vincent Game is also director on the board of British Petroleum.
