News Headlines
Government Cuts NHS
The government announced yesterday that it had made the bold decision to cut the National Health Service (NHS).
In the plans for health reform, all NHS hospitals will be sold to private property developers or redeveloped for more important public uses.
One such hospital is already set to become a new 'mega-cemetery' as the death rate in the UK is predicted to rise 10-fold in the next six months.
Tony Blair said yesterday that this was not "a drastic cut" in public health funds, but merely "a realignment of resources".
The Prime Minister sought to reassure those concerned by reminding them that private healthcare would still be available and that those who couldn't afford it would be supplied with "first-aid kits and cutting tools".
"Happy New Year!" he said.
Also speaking yesterday, the Chancellor Gordon Brown announced that cutting the NHS was an essential move needed to free-up vital resources.
"This is a vital move to free up new funds, which I intend to spend on some very important projects, including building new nuclear power stations, upgrading our nuclear weapons, nuclear waste disposal and a new museum of nuclear heritage."
