News Headlines
International Disaster Kills Tens Of Millions
Tens of millions are thought to have been killed in a disaster that ranks alongside the end of the world.
Entire generations have been lost forever, towns and cities wiped off the face of the Earth. The areas affected will never recover, the skies are black with smoke and the sun is no longer visible.
Tonnes of rubble and debris are piled high, no buildings remain standing. Hundreds of millions are now homeless, living in the open countryside that is parched by fire and flame. The nights are bitterly cold and the days bring acid rain.
If the survivors don't die from disease, they'll die from starvation, dehydration or hypothermia.
But we, here at The Taxman, can now confirm that absolutely no Britons have been killed whatsoever. We love a happy ending.
