News Headlines
News archive
2012-01-23 Fat Cats Lose Fight To Occupy City Of London
2012-01-18 Businessmen 'Will Fly Around On Oats'
2012-01-01 Volcano To House Goldman Sachs Office
2011-12-02 Planet No Longer Warming
2011-11-15 Government Vision for Greenless Britain
2011-10-27 Euro Leaders Solve Capitalism With 'More Capitalism'
2011-10-05 Fake Story Was Written By Illegal Immigrant, Claims Paul Dacre
2011-09-19 Obama Joins Liberal Democrats
2011-09-11 Memorial Service for 9/11 Survivors Who Endured Last Ten Years
2011-08-20 Rioters 'Shit Scared' Of Going To Prison, Vow To Behave From Now On
2011-07-29 African Sorrow for Global Fiscal Woes
2011-07-13 Badgers Agree To Cull Humans In Bid To Stop Spread Of Idiocy
2011-07-02 Oil Firms Slam Gaddafi On Human Rights
2011-06-26 Reading Daily Express Causes Brain Failure
2011-06-01 Doctors To Spend NHS Budget On Lobbying for Euthanasia
2011-05-21 Celebrities Agree Truce With Media, But We Know Nothing
2011-05-11 Cameron Asks Clegg To Resign
2011-04-27 Nothing At All Happening In the World Right Now, Confirms British Media
2011-04-15 Refugees Fleeing Torture 'Wimps'
2011-04-04 "From Now On, We Only Employ Murderers," Orders Fox
2011-03-24 Back To the Eighties
2011-02-28 BBC Denies Bias Towards the Truth
2011-02-23 Blair Placed On 'Gardening Leave' From Middle East Peacemaking Job
2011-02-19 Nation In Shock As Politicians Use Words 'Yes' and 'No'
2011-02-11 Wikileaks Cables: US Mocked Over Failure To Censor Wikileaks Cables
2011-01-12 Bastard Bankers Beaten By British Backslap
2010-12-30 Rail Bosses Devise Innovative New Way To Delay Trains
2010-11-24 An Irish Government Asks a British Government for More Money...
2010-11-06 Students To Be Assaulted By Ministers Daily
2010-10-07 Tragedy Strikes Stabbing Contest
2010-09-19 Clegg's "Sorrow" for Cuts Abuse Victims
2010-08-29 Global Warming Is a Conspiracy, Admit World's Scientists, Governments, Media, Clever People
2010-08-10 Cameron Bald Patch 'Should Definitely Not Be Used As a Metaphor'
2010-07-31 War On Truth
2010-07-17 BP Plugs Oil Leak With £50 Notes
2010-06-06 Gaza Doesn't Exist and Neither Does Your Mother, IDF Spokesperson Claims
2010-05-12 Murdoch Orgasm Stains British Conscience
2010-05-07 General Election FAIL
2010-04-23 Third TV Leaders' Debate To Be Staged Inside 16ft Steel Cage
2010-04-13 Cameron Asks Britain Out for Dinner
2010-03-10 Calls for Inquiry Into Iraq Inquiry
2010-02-14 Arms Dealer Admits Putting Profits Before Death
2010-01-27 IMF Vows To Make Haitians Pay for Their Suffering
2010-01-04 Dubai Ruler Says New Skyscraper "Bigger Than My Cock"
2009-12-21 World Leaders Finally Agree To Destroy Planet
2009-11-22 One-In-1000 Year Events Now Happening Every Friday
2009-10-23 Colourful Language Not Welcome On Our Fascist TV Programmes, Says BBC
2009-09-25 Old People More Likely To Die
2009-09-11 Obama Thinks Americans Can Go Shove Their Healthcare
2009-07-20 War On Peace
2009-07-06 Daily Mail Full Of Rubbish
2009-06-02 Wind Turbine Objectors Okay With Pylons, PVC Conservatories, Deforestation, More
2009-05-15 The Telegraph Files: Reporters' Shoddy Journalism Techniques Revealed
2009-03-30 Goodwin's Children Behind Latest Hate Campaign
2009-01-19 Bush Passes Presidential Assassination Bill
2009-01-12 Israel Invades Poland
2008-12-30 Queen Insecure About Living In Palace
2008-11-28 Christmas Cancelled
2008-10-11 Government Strike Multi-Quadrillion Pound Deal With Devil
2008-09-18 Credit Crunch Not As Good As Other Breakfast Cereals
2008-08-21 GCSE Exams Now Easier Than Writing Headlines
2008-07-12 Rich Nations Agree On Climate Disagreement
2008-07-03 Mugabe 'Not Evil Enough'
2008-06-15 Police Lock-up Civil Liberty, Throw Away Key
2008-05-16 What Cyclone? Ask Burmese Junta
2008-05-01 Immigration Key Driver Of Emigration
2008-04-20 Torch-Snatching To Become Olympic Sport
2008-02-29 Obama Shot JFK, Claims Clinton
2008-02-03 Shell Oils To Fuel Cash-Burning Power Station
2007-11-27 Transport Secretary To Humanely Kill Billions Of People
2007-10-18 High Court Rules 2+2=4 'May Not Be Correct'
2007-09-14 Mindless Thugs Rebuild Community Centre
2007-08-31 Diana Died Ten Years Ago
2007-08-21 Climate Change Protestors' Al-Qaeda Plot
2007-07-31 Heavy Rain Blamed for Summer Floods
2007-05-19 Missing Child 'Still Missing'
2007-04-07 BNP Leader Apologises for Abolishing Slavery
2007-02-21 Suspicious Circumstances Surrounding Conspiracy Theorist's Death
2007-01-05 Tony Blair Mauled By Pitbull Terrier
2006-12-03 Chavez Vows To Fight "First World" Poverty
2006-11-27 Osama Bin Laden Gives Himself Up
2006-11-15 Top Gear's Clarkson Run Down By Speeding 'Super Car'
2006-11-10 Rumsfeld Appointed As New Attack Secretary
2006-10-30 Parole Officer Dismayed At Prisoner's Refusal To Reoffend
2006-10-21 Fashion Victim Cautioned for Wearing Sunglasses On Overcast Day
2006-10-11 North Korea Launches Nuclear Prank Warhead
2006-10-03 US School Children To Be Issued With Firearms
2006-09-05 Bush Plot To Oust Schwarzenegger Foiled After Arnie Kills All the Bad Guys
2006-08-07 Bush Declares War On Mars
2006-07-30 Alarm Clocks 'Bad for Your Health'- 2006-04-29 Blair and Brown In Fly On the Wall Shocker
- 2006-02-25 Yesterday On the London Stock Market
- 2006-01-03 Government Cuts NHS
- 2005-12-09 International Disaster Kills Tens Of Millions
- 2005-09-29 Bush Declares War On the Atlantic Ocean
- 2005-08-23 24-Hour Drinking: Zero Smoking
- 2005-01-20 Tony Blair and Michael Howard Given Detention
- 2004-12-27 Old Lady, 103, Given ASBO
- 2004-08-28 Binge Drinking Is To Blame
- 2004-05-23 Queen Revealed As Big Brother Contestant
- 2004-04-12 Bush Declares War On Kyrgyzstan
- 2001-06-06 Prescott: He Deserved To Die
