There's Truth In Fiction
News: BP plugs oil leak with £50 notes
British Petroleum has finally plugged the leaking oil well in the Gulf of Mexico by stuffing it full of rolled fifties.
Millions of the notes were delicately forced into the gaping chasm one mile below the surface on Friday, and the oil giant has today reported that the technically ground-breaking operation has succeeded in capping the well.
More...Music: Feeder: Renegades
What do you do when a band you've been slating for five years makes a rollicking album of unrelenting bombast and guile, harking back to the roots you've been yearning for and romanticising over, while also outshining every last one of the new rock acts that you've elevated to an undeserved pedestal in the same period?
What do you do, brother, when a band that's become unfashionable, forgotten about, makes the kind of album that gets glued to your gramophone for a month, before ceasing up, forcing you to buy another copy? Slate it of course.
More...Weather: I don't need to know the offside rule to know that this World Cup has been fucking hijacked
Welcome to South Africa. Once again, The Taxman have sent me packing on a trip to some random country in the middle of some random continent because, apparently, there is something important happening out here.
But what would I know about any sodding football tournament when I'm holed up here in my hotel room vomiting like a 19-year-old in a cider house on his birthday? How did they think a chronic asthmatic would feel 1,200 metres above sea level?
More...News: Gaza Doesn't Exist and Neither Does Your Mother, IDF Spokesperson Claims
We're all a bunch of Jew-hating Nazis who deserve to die and if we say anything nasty about Israel again we're going to be sorry, very sorry.
That was the stern "off-the-record" warning to journalists today from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who has also just offered us half-price tickets to the World Cup final and a free bottle of Kosher wine.
More...Other Recent Articles...
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- 2010-05-07: News: General Election FAIL
- 2010-04-23: News: Third TV Leaders' Debate To Be Staged Inside 16ft Steel Cage
- 2010-04-13: News: Cameron Asks Britain Out for Dinner
